Pamamanhikan is a Filipino tradition where a man together with his family will go to a woman’s family home to formally seek the blessing of parents before getting married.
After we got engaged and before we formally start the full blast of wedding planning, we have to inform our parents regarding our plans for getting married and somehow get them involve and ask for their advice. I believe that getting the parents’ blessing is the right way to start our journey because as them being our family, they have to be aligned with our life plans. It is a great feeling when you get their 100% support. 🙂
How does the “Pamamanhikan” goes?
So this is how we planned it.
We set one Sunday last September 25, 2016 to let our parents formally meet again but this time was about our wedding plans. As what the usual tradition for this kind of set up, my Fiance’s family will go to our house and will bring some food that we are going to eat by lunch. On our side, my mom still prepared some dishes so there will be a lot of food choices. I also invited my man of honor (wearing blue) just to break the ice and not to make the event too serious.
What are we going to talk about during the “Pamamanhikan”?
Me and my fiance thought on how are we going to drive the conversation and we decided to prepare a PowerPoint presentation and call it our “Wedding Pitch Deck”.
Our objective is to get there support on our wedding plans and to ask for a little help financially to add up on our wedding fund.
So to keep the conversation organize. We have prepared our points of discussion.
- Let them know our current state. What we have done so far.
- What are our life plans as a partner
- Wedding plans and budget
- What help do we need from our parents
- Wedding preparation timelines
Below are some slides on our Wedding Pitch Deck:
*Please note not all the content of our wedding pitch deck has been uploaded. The wedding timeline was also a draft.
Seems like a corporate deck right? Yes! We can make use our line of career on personal matters.
My key take away for this wedding plan topic with parents:
- Do not make things awkward. Break the ice from time to time. Don’t get nervous and don’t make the topic too serious. Loosen up guys!
- Be clear with your wedding plans. Let your parents know your target budget, target number of visitors and who can we invite in the wedding. Let them understand that the more we invite, the more that we have to spend.
- Set your own time and wedding date. It is not your parents to decide for this matter. We are already adults and we make our own decision.
- Let your parents know clearly what help do you need from them. Do not just let them wait to volunteer on what they want to give. It is better you ask them, they are your parents so they will understand.
- Let them know your plans right after getting married. Usually they will ask, where are you going to live after the wedding. Then you have to be prepared with the answer.
- Ask your parent’s advice. Your parents are the best person to give you advice on how to start a family.
Let us know your thoughts with our “Pamamanhikan” set up and I’m glad to hear yours. 🙂